copycat suicide

.."Die Leiden desjungen werthers"..(here is french title)do you know this book?
i used to enjoy when i was in middle school. i feel like reading it again.:")

why do you wanna die?

here, im not that emotionaly uplifted, very stable, even scarcastic**
--isn't she lovely? my friend who saved me from many depression said she has similar smile as mine--


two women(popular Korean actress, singer) committed to suicide recently.
very pretty and no problem of finance..blah blah..their life looks even fantastic ever to others. anyway they are same age as mine coincidentally.
what kind of life were they having? they seemed no difficulty by the outlook, but the inside was not the same as other people see.

here i tell you how did they complete the mission to death.
both use cloth hanger and towel-i tried both, but not easy with out help.
first we should have very tout hanger to do it. but i can not find that kind of points in anywhere in my apt. so i can say, they were lucky enough in my view point..at least some way around.
were they over-emotional? yes, usually many artists do feel this way. besides women nature is very likely.
i tried buying sleeping pills but not easy to do here in new zealand. buying a gun to shot me-not easy-unless me to be close arms-dealers. (when i was young, my daddy had guns-but for hunting-he said only can catch birds by it :P) ask to LEON for killing me, and he could get my all asset and even insurance.

i don't know why some people try dying? i may say they are impatient for god's take. i read another part of story, some homeless people, caused by flood, very eager try to escape out from the death, for live, in jakarta.when we lose for purpose of life we re very weak to kill ourselves. umm.. what kind of death methode do i need to search for, or invent..lets find out from internet.^^

wanna find your knight?

wow!!here the backyard auckland uni yesterday.
so many good looking and sexy tough guys are here! kk
they gether regularly for this kind of sword fighting practice.so willing to teach me with very gentle gesture,eventhough i was just passing by.

marjan's home

we had dinner and playing bugermon(not sure the spell)game, watching horror movie together.
as you see pic3. she was busy cooking ,and harmid was playing game..kk-me spy..but he did washing dishes.:P

we need the special weight loss program as well^^

wow see this cat, so funny^^
how can she lose weight? may be head bang..shake it!! shake it!! bang~~

even this puppy is running under water..wow more excellent than my aqua walking!
lol this is a qute baby seal i guess so:P

why all about money?

me so down with this subject sometimes. umm.. i confess first that me bit not that realistic mind set person. yep i don't much have finance problem at the moment compared with my aged people. it dosen't mean i like spending luxuries.yes i could if i wish to be at minimum capacity from my account. but no thanks at all. it's not my taste and have preference in secondhand and $2, $10 dollars stuff. maybe $40 sometime for t shirt, very rarely. all the expensive stuff given by my people's gift who willing to, not from my pocket. am i a stingy? umm..not at all! im so very generous for dining becoz of my family custom*:)

money makes my mind down because of the blind power to people's morality and emotion(such as love). my friends said "u have nothing you will see how people think you may not be the same or even remove you becoz the burden will come to the person you talk to" not pity..no need, how react..unexpectedly lol from certain social category, yep stand by myself..

many people have doubt what if the money is the reason for this relationship? so sad..right?:( me had experience..promised to myself, never never believe friend's words too much sometimes!!

me, my culture-my granfa-very taught us shameful to bring out money subject out, and considered lower level people do the way as i learned. why my granfa family think this way? umm. maybe? probably?.. they haven't had problem with. one clue i strongly support is it may stem from Confucian influence.

since im abroad, i quite realised to how naive i'm! no practical idea at all!! i havn't had any part time job in Korea(my father commends not to do) except formal work experience at one company. but here, people freely talk about money, need money, happy by it..and somewhat me so privileged how i was,am now. suffering from my emotional break down often things not can be mentioned to children or people who re under bad circumstance because of it. am i blaming myself? no! just me had not been much exposed that's all.
since im abroad, i quite realised to how naive i'm,no practical idea at all. as a idealist "money is a just energy exchange when we need something"(we use our labor each other-even used shell for exchange)as a realist, just think this way sometimes money is just bullets for the guns which needed to survive. to get practically secure, having cozy house, warm food with family, at of course based on ability to make just enough fundamental setting, not too much...not to make us grumpy! otherwise we may trade money with our soul,very noble mind.

my university in korea

i miss my uni in korea where i studied.
sometimes we don't realise the time at the moment.
and the memory takes the place for that happiness after it's gone.

www.seoularts.ac.kr