why do you wanna die?

here, im not that emotionaly uplifted, very stable, even scarcastic**
--isn't she lovely? my friend who saved me from many depression said she has similar smile as mine--


two women(popular Korean actress, singer) committed to suicide recently.
very pretty and no problem of finance..blah blah..their life looks even fantastic ever to others. anyway they are same age as mine coincidentally.
what kind of life were they having? they seemed no difficulty by the outlook, but the inside was not the same as other people see.

here i tell you how did they complete the mission to death.
both use cloth hanger and towel-i tried both, but not easy with out help.
first we should have very tout hanger to do it. but i can not find that kind of points in anywhere in my apt. so i can say, they were lucky enough in my view point..at least some way around.
were they over-emotional? yes, usually many artists do feel this way. besides women nature is very likely.
i tried buying sleeping pills but not easy to do here in new zealand. buying a gun to shot me-not easy-unless me to be close arms-dealers. (when i was young, my daddy had guns-but for hunting-he said only can catch birds by it :P) ask to LEON for killing me, and he could get my all asset and even insurance.

i don't know why some people try dying? i may say they are impatient for god's take. i read another part of story, some homeless people, caused by flood, very eager try to escape out from the death, for live, in jakarta.when we lose for purpose of life we re very weak to kill ourselves. umm.. what kind of death methode do i need to search for, or invent..lets find out from internet.^^