i got a gift and today's of me!

i got a gift! which are running shose for my excersise hehe.
me so up to do excercise, and did one hour of playing badminton..
guess what? my answer is" no more hard running pllllllllllllllllllz"

not enough blood?

i went to the clinc.
because i can't get up well nowadays. feel not fresh and heavy..
anyway, the doctor said me not good, especially spleen and liver, bladder...weak heart pumping.

you know when we go into that kind of position, we easily believe whatever they say. it's like holding the last rope to survive^^
and not enough circulation of blood.haha funny..circulation of "qi".
anyway i have had hard time to remove away the blockage of the flow.but still my body getting not there with my mind i think. and also age matter!! sorry to the olders kk

i already knew my hemoglobin deficency. but he saying also the reason your face getting pale. humwhatever!! inside is real beauty! if you are not getting healty,your surface look is not long lasting. pale is not good,more excersise, more oxygen suply to your body every where and then enough rest--

question to myself? what is spleen? did vampires take my blood away last night? why not enough blood?-i did several times of blood donation. anybody blood type "o"?

i'm happy for you.

my cousin(my mother's sister's daughter) got married with a very funny+famous-but not so hansome kk +deep caring comedian. we say shreck korean version to make them laugh. look so lovely..

i got a letter today which is sent by the guy who stuck together in highschool life.
me was a kind of tomboy(i was grouped with him and his friends.)saying he is getting married with my best friend. anyway i'm happy for their click!..be sincere!! not disturbed by women's hormon disturbunce.-someone gave me a book about this--am enjoy reading:P

his name is sangmook-can't find his photo here.
her name is ansuk--she is angel character.

note about picture.-in side of green circle-third cousin.-isn't she so qute?
--------------------the other photo is my lovely aunt wearing korean traditional cloth"hanbok".
you can see more funny photos at her cyworld! www.cyworld.com/applecinnamon------it's very good when you feel lonely or depressed. i guarantee!!

let's find the hidden thingies^^

lamp, band, lips, sun, crown..so easy one!

i now understand why crazy or mentally weaked patients like yellow..yellow color(-it helps to take out some depressive feeling, and touching like warmth. we used to joke about wanna go2 the yellow building = the hospital for people who hav pchycological problems)

except of that fact, more than any flower..me very like yellow sunflower.
-umm..it's yellow. it shows a kind of 복종way of love. stupid but l like.
and also you can see it in Gouh's work(true one is in in the gallery.but fake one is everywhere u can find..even one is hung onto vegetarian cafe the right side wall from the entrance at high st,in auckland,nz.

face of yesterday

me full moon face getting better..
it felt so lovely with the people who i love at the lovely day..ummphhhhhhhhaaaa

well, how can i take him out once a week? ^^

moana7979@hotmail.com Messenger: 오프라인
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보낸이 : Fay Gwilliam
보낸 날짜 : 2007년 4월 7일 토요일 오전 2:20:44
받는이 : moana7979@hotmail.com

| | | 받은 편지함


Hi Moana,
I am the new Amitabha Hospice co-ordinator for your area. I have left you a couple of phone messages but thought I would email you as well. We have a korean man who needs someone to visit him and maybe take him out once a week. Would you be able to do this for us as we have none else who speaks Korean and he doesn't speak any english. Please let me know as soon about this. Thank you so much. We really appreciate your help.
Fay Clark
376 3277


-----above maki's one and this one make me think what they think of me? me not that supupr super moana. me also need someone and to take me out and give energy hmm..here just bit better with family and friend's power.but the most important one is remained to walk by myself..sure..sure..

**i wish i could speak english so fabulaus not to hav communication difficulty.hope next life..**

what kind of energy shall i give to my dear, maki?

보낸이 : tunekawa makiko
보낸 날짜 : 2007년 4월 8일 일요일 오후 6:22:33
받는이 : moana7979@hotmail.com
제목 : RE: where r u?

| | | 받은 편지함


hee?
how are you?
u r in korea?
today i feel little sad...
but it ll make something beautiful i think....

sad is good for me..

hee ! give me a power?
do u still have?

maki.

_________________________________________________________________
륣봨궢궫릶궼뽵4,000뙿갃뎩뺊궻뻷쀍귩?롻갏걏My Live Story걐 http://mylivestory.jp

well..i haven't reply to her yet..
what kind of energy shall i give? me also lost still.. so doubt that i have some energy still?
but me really giva ya what i hav;)
not only words..with real heart..no fear at all.
enerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgy...or bulky oil from saudiarabia? ^^

the face of yesterday

i had only tried meeting family and family-related people since me, home.
first, very severe cold for 10days. second the broken nose thingy problem for 14days.
this photo is taken by jinhee, after the clinical time passed almost 20days? but still swollen..but it's very improved!!

let me tell u, how was i at the first?
it's like the full moon face or hanival..starwars character like.

the faces of time

we take photos when we wanna keep the time of the moments.
yesterday and today, i really think of "memories". conscience and nonconscience..

some memories i wish i could erase..but some are not..it's so tresureable which i wanna dream everyday and carry on for future hope.

photos are like prooves of my memory externaly.

here,i got some photos from my teacher's cyworld. he kept my old photos from mine in the past(lucky..coz i lost all those)

here.. umm..seems i was very sentimental, happy at those time.

after one of my family funneral yesterday, all the photos of him vividly go on in my head like slides.

가족

my sister in law, her siblings and me went to "Appgujung"(my lovely nephew)
i think im late a realriser to know someone or something's importance.
without love, all the best food, all the best scenery are so empty..very empty..


dddddddddddddddddd...a "duckppocki time!"

copycat suicide

.."Die Leiden desjungen werthers"..(here is french title)do you know this book?
i used to enjoy when i was in middle school. i feel like reading it again.:")

why do you wanna die?

here, im not that emotionaly uplifted, very stable, even scarcastic**
--isn't she lovely? my friend who saved me from many depression said she has similar smile as mine--


two women(popular Korean actress, singer) committed to suicide recently.
very pretty and no problem of finance..blah blah..their life looks even fantastic ever to others. anyway they are same age as mine coincidentally.
what kind of life were they having? they seemed no difficulty by the outlook, but the inside was not the same as other people see.

here i tell you how did they complete the mission to death.
both use cloth hanger and towel-i tried both, but not easy with out help.
first we should have very tout hanger to do it. but i can not find that kind of points in anywhere in my apt. so i can say, they were lucky enough in my view point..at least some way around.
were they over-emotional? yes, usually many artists do feel this way. besides women nature is very likely.
i tried buying sleeping pills but not easy to do here in new zealand. buying a gun to shot me-not easy-unless me to be close arms-dealers. (when i was young, my daddy had guns-but for hunting-he said only can catch birds by it :P) ask to LEON for killing me, and he could get my all asset and even insurance.

i don't know why some people try dying? i may say they are impatient for god's take. i read another part of story, some homeless people, caused by flood, very eager try to escape out from the death, for live, in jakarta.when we lose for purpose of life we re very weak to kill ourselves. umm.. what kind of death methode do i need to search for, or invent..lets find out from internet.^^

wanna find your knight?

wow!!here the backyard auckland uni yesterday.
so many good looking and sexy tough guys are here! kk
they gether regularly for this kind of sword fighting practice.so willing to teach me with very gentle gesture,eventhough i was just passing by.

marjan's home

we had dinner and playing bugermon(not sure the spell)game, watching horror movie together.
as you see pic3. she was busy cooking ,and harmid was playing game..kk-me spy..but he did washing dishes.:P

we need the special weight loss program as well^^

wow see this cat, so funny^^
how can she lose weight? may be head bang..shake it!! shake it!! bang~~

even this puppy is running under water..wow more excellent than my aqua walking!
lol this is a qute baby seal i guess so:P

why all about money?

me so down with this subject sometimes. umm.. i confess first that me bit not that realistic mind set person. yep i don't much have finance problem at the moment compared with my aged people. it dosen't mean i like spending luxuries.yes i could if i wish to be at minimum capacity from my account. but no thanks at all. it's not my taste and have preference in secondhand and $2, $10 dollars stuff. maybe $40 sometime for t shirt, very rarely. all the expensive stuff given by my people's gift who willing to, not from my pocket. am i a stingy? umm..not at all! im so very generous for dining becoz of my family custom*:)

money makes my mind down because of the blind power to people's morality and emotion(such as love). my friends said "u have nothing you will see how people think you may not be the same or even remove you becoz the burden will come to the person you talk to" not pity..no need, how react..unexpectedly lol from certain social category, yep stand by myself..

many people have doubt what if the money is the reason for this relationship? so sad..right?:( me had experience..promised to myself, never never believe friend's words too much sometimes!!

me, my culture-my granfa-very taught us shameful to bring out money subject out, and considered lower level people do the way as i learned. why my granfa family think this way? umm. maybe? probably?.. they haven't had problem with. one clue i strongly support is it may stem from Confucian influence.

since im abroad, i quite realised to how naive i'm! no practical idea at all!! i havn't had any part time job in Korea(my father commends not to do) except formal work experience at one company. but here, people freely talk about money, need money, happy by it..and somewhat me so privileged how i was,am now. suffering from my emotional break down often things not can be mentioned to children or people who re under bad circumstance because of it. am i blaming myself? no! just me had not been much exposed that's all.
since im abroad, i quite realised to how naive i'm,no practical idea at all. as a idealist "money is a just energy exchange when we need something"(we use our labor each other-even used shell for exchange)as a realist, just think this way sometimes money is just bullets for the guns which needed to survive. to get practically secure, having cozy house, warm food with family, at of course based on ability to make just enough fundamental setting, not too much...not to make us grumpy! otherwise we may trade money with our soul,very noble mind.

my university in korea

i miss my uni in korea where i studied.
sometimes we don't realise the time at the moment.
and the memory takes the place for that happiness after it's gone.

www.seoularts.ac.kr

Psyche

here i have the sculpture's photo which i like most.
yes i somewhat didn't know the background story until i found this in Paris.
these photos are on my room's wall.well..so marvelous!!
i have keep finding this story from internet..so amazingly beautiful story inside:)