wanna find your knight?

wow!!here the backyard auckland uni yesterday.
so many good looking and sexy tough guys are here! kk
they gether regularly for this kind of sword fighting practice.so willing to teach me with very gentle gesture,eventhough i was just passing by.

marjan's home

we had dinner and playing bugermon(not sure the spell)game, watching horror movie together.
as you see pic3. she was busy cooking ,and harmid was playing game..kk-me spy..but he did washing dishes.:P

we need the special weight loss program as well^^

wow see this cat, so funny^^
how can she lose weight? may be head bang..shake it!! shake it!! bang~~

even this puppy is running under water..wow more excellent than my aqua walking!
lol this is a qute baby seal i guess so:P

why all about money?

me so down with this subject sometimes. umm.. i confess first that me bit not that realistic mind set person. yep i don't much have finance problem at the moment compared with my aged people. it dosen't mean i like spending luxuries.yes i could if i wish to be at minimum capacity from my account. but no thanks at all. it's not my taste and have preference in secondhand and $2, $10 dollars stuff. maybe $40 sometime for t shirt, very rarely. all the expensive stuff given by my people's gift who willing to, not from my pocket. am i a stingy? umm..not at all! im so very generous for dining becoz of my family custom*:)

money makes my mind down because of the blind power to people's morality and emotion(such as love). my friends said "u have nothing you will see how people think you may not be the same or even remove you becoz the burden will come to the person you talk to" not pity..no need, how react..unexpectedly lol from certain social category, yep stand by myself..

many people have doubt what if the money is the reason for this relationship? so sad..right?:( me had experience..promised to myself, never never believe friend's words too much sometimes!!

me, my culture-my granfa-very taught us shameful to bring out money subject out, and considered lower level people do the way as i learned. why my granfa family think this way? umm. maybe? probably?.. they haven't had problem with. one clue i strongly support is it may stem from Confucian influence.

since im abroad, i quite realised to how naive i'm! no practical idea at all!! i havn't had any part time job in Korea(my father commends not to do) except formal work experience at one company. but here, people freely talk about money, need money, happy by it..and somewhat me so privileged how i was,am now. suffering from my emotional break down often things not can be mentioned to children or people who re under bad circumstance because of it. am i blaming myself? no! just me had not been much exposed that's all.
since im abroad, i quite realised to how naive i'm,no practical idea at all. as a idealist "money is a just energy exchange when we need something"(we use our labor each other-even used shell for exchange)as a realist, just think this way sometimes money is just bullets for the guns which needed to survive. to get practically secure, having cozy house, warm food with family, at of course based on ability to make just enough fundamental setting, not too much...not to make us grumpy! otherwise we may trade money with our soul,very noble mind.

my university in korea

i miss my uni in korea where i studied.
sometimes we don't realise the time at the moment.
and the memory takes the place for that happiness after it's gone.

www.seoularts.ac.kr

Psyche

here i have the sculpture's photo which i like most.
yes i somewhat didn't know the background story until i found this in Paris.
these photos are on my room's wall.well..so marvelous!!
i have keep finding this story from internet..so amazingly beautiful story inside:)

hello, my friend totoro^^

where are you, totoro?^^
me so much addictive to the animations of mr.m.
especially, totoro is the best for me.
here i found the tree which reminds me of totoro.
i love in this nature, yes surly it has healing and inspiring energy to me.
ummm...wanna write some children's book here..
new Zealand, so loving place!!

green day!

the weather here is getting greener, so peacefully beautiful ever!!

i have a kind of learning after the sickness. it's very helpful after hardships in mind status. the reason im supporting this is me here not many close friends, no alcol person, no random, extremely habitual eating(i used to be until the age of 19)

first, take shower and be pretty/handsome from in the early morning, no matter you don't go outside.

second, take a photo everyday. think it's be the photo for your last day(funeral kk),can be the records of ageing yourself.(physically?) but don't be sad, celebrate every days, every moments.

third, analysis your emotional things in scientific way. read some psychology book or even biology, physics-easy step one. and reflect your symptoms on that kind of experiments.

+ love your self seriously.
+ remember homeostasis!
=so you're prepared to love the partner for long with deep care.
without the ground for yourself, you may keep failing how to love others by the tempt of dependence.

key copy

i went to greenlane for copying a key.
wow here i can look like the key master.. hehe in the matrix.

we're all individual planets.

i have a very favorite park near my home.
it's albert park which has nice plants and a well between two grand trees, built in 1979, like my birth year.
this well is very precious to me..really..

i feel like we're all individual planets which go around the orbit.
wishing our best planets company together. be truthful.. all is continuous moments. hey, don't trust him becoz of your fear of being left alone someday.
all we're just that, and we'll be disappeared at personal given time stage.

i may go into this well when the time comes. and like shiny falling stars through it.
all is pieces of myself..my heart.i want to bury my soul inside..here this well in albert park.
what a weierd!!
but me happy and relieved from some fears. coz i know where i go at last.
it's like the elephants which go to certain places when they are getting to die.
scary, huh?

the way to understand girls.

me have a bright idea about this!
not go to on the surface, get into deep inside.
guys say it's hard to understand their lovers, girls. you need to know this!(except u're not gay or L word something)
it is somewhat related to orgasm, interesting^^

girls need much more time giving his knight trust- worthy prize.
but guys rush fast and make crash(bang~~)but if you guys really love and keep her for long, you'd better to know how to be patient and even teaching your girls when she was commended by her hormone.
sometimes don't show your love additively even though you're crazy in love.
she may be over prided or getting arrogant.
here this way. cut her out at sudden stage and wait how she acts on it.
i know it's mean. but worthy tring!! i bet!!
if she is real for you, she must come back with deep realization and cooperate tight bound rope for the relationship. if she's gone..sorry she really hates you kk lol.
so guys be in slow speed when you start even ongoing.
and she is tempted from impatience, let's educate her like baby or sweet kitten.
not working still? oki- give her drug to sleep forawhile till you're fine with everything. maybe for a month? KK it's good for exam period:)

you think you can be better next one? no..i don't think so. give your generous mind to your present girl. it's hard to meet that feeling huh?

relationship check lists

here! moana consultant^^

so why don't we write down the lists which make troubles.
you can write and correct them by practice or take the root totally out from your brain if extremely rotten. your neurons should be dumbed( pang pang--hammering sound)

1. relationship with lover.be specific what you talk and want-especially girls, especially asian!(me not racism at all, lol me also very asian made-biologically and environmently)guys can't understand what you feel inside. don't have habit of bloking and being away! please. me not good at speaking english- so i sometimes feel energy-exgausted feeling: limited vocabs, not much english culture background.mane me quite traditional!boring kk..so now i feel regret what i did in the last times. having time after u talk clear reason for such this attitude.
more later..

2. relationship with money.in our way(in my background, traditional asian)guys spend money for girls. so me need time for adjusting to very cool way of life in western,very individual=independent. mane! give me more explation for somtimes.me now much better.^^so guys, if your lovers are from this kind of planet. educate her with gentle manner or earn more, spend more than her KK.. kidding. girls, we're also CEO of ourselves. whip your body and mind's financial manger not to be lazy. use it! buy for him a can of beer.(buy soymilk instead if he dosen't drink alcol:P)
not only money for in this relationship category, in your account management! we're not just parent's everlating consummers. so we need to start and practice. be frank!don't be shame to talk about money(me i was under my culture)
more later..

3. relationship with mind and bodywell. you can find many nice guru and doctors, angelic nurses out there.but sure the best doctor for your mind and body is you! yourself.am i saying very well-known fact? sorrykk
more later..

4. realtionship with foodwhen i was in new york, my friend had problem with his digestion. me more precisely his dung was not united when it's out. like spread like vomiting..oooooWW..so i gave an idea to eat a lot of vegie and an apple for a day. so it's simple you know! all about is wise choices depedended on remarkable self control even here, eating. be in control wild animals in your body when you tempted to eat a lot, or over meat dining. me back to happy vegie+fruit eater again.
more later..

5. realtionship with pastme was not good at sending past thingies. and truly bad memory with exam trauma in schoolhood. my all schoolmates remember how i was not sane in those periods.i couldn't accept and make a go for the next exam well. why iam saying this? if you made wrong in the past. let it go. you filled the best answear you could on that exam. me actually needed time for the p***y after my previous exam was emptied from my inside..hey mane..i should have had time at that times really. no pusing was wise choice i can say for one more regret.:)
more later..

..me just got emergency call for no.2 now^^
so wait sedc.

the clue for the soultion

what a grand title is that?
me recently, have had severe pain-it's like a total break down.(since last year autumn)and now im getting to understand the main problem. i can say disunity, not harmony(so previous writing is the sign of upgraded idea)

i was imbalanced for a while..
why? because of insufficient self confidence.
felt feared, what if i would be left behind by p***y. additionally my hormone thingy also influenced quite a lot.-hehe i can say i was out of control.
and i listened some one's stupid advice how to hold the p. so silly, so pabo.. my friend made worse plot without meeting & talking to me, coz he in Korea, well quite long distance. pushing him biological threatening. hehe.-we may from north Korea i bet.but only wish was connected firmly.anyway the pocktan(Korean) exploded at the wrong timing. one more bonus was no rational plan about the next situation!!

well..well..well.
if you like me, you already crossed the river,right?:P
but me still not actually... just having said "end..over" for soothing myself, to believe no more weak points of me.and made the p. encourage his right decision about the hopeless crazy late 20'

so i have mission!!
the very best idea for solving this and that problems forward.

what is that?

to be harmonized : not only with people, but also environment, my mind and soul, money lol, food, career, trips, past and future. all the relationships we have in this life.
with my very specific idea and information I'd love to give you help when you feel the same, isolated. see the real picture. don't be afraid by "what if-imagination".
if you keep doing fear,doubt, they just yield more.
i think the p***y was a great teacher to me i can say. coz i got what i can, how i can do with my time. gomawayo jjinja!

what? what am i saying? what am i doing forward?

yep!help others who have relationship stuff problem. i really can give how to understand girls.there must be the ways!!we need to know, otherwise the biggie problem.you know kk.baby baby...